Business Booming For San Fran’s “Gay-Only” Sperm Bank

Home / Business Booming For San Fran’s “Gay-Only” Sperm Bank

RAINBOW-STORK-CRYOBANK-SAN-FRANCISCOSan Francisco has long been known as a haven for members of the LGBTQ community. The California city has an extensive and rich history of tolerance for homosexuals and their ilk. Unsurprisingly, one man intends to capitalize on this notion by opening the world’s very first “All Gay Sperm Bank”.

For those ladies who have lusted after their gay friends and hoped for a child imbued with their sense of style and taste, but have been unable to “bag the fag”, so-to-speak, now there’s a safe, effective and convenient alternative.

The Rainbow Stork Cryobank is the brain child of Gary F. Jankins, a San Fransisco native and openly gay individual. Mr Jankins is well known for his philanthropy and keen investments, fronting several lucrative business ventures; the sperm bank being the newest addition in a long list of successful projects.

During an interview he told National Report that his inspiration for the bank arose after several of his female friends has solicited him for sperm themselves.

“My gal-pals would always ask if they could use my juice for their own insemination procedures. Being a highly successful businessman as well as an academic scholar, they pined for my distinguished and flamboyant seed. It’s only natural that opening a bank which warehoused the sperm of highly well-heeled gay donors. Men much like myself.”

“The girls I knew would always say things like “I wish I could have a gay child just like you, Gary. You’re a real inspiration.” Now we are able to make their dreams a reality!”

The Rainbow Stork Cryobank has been open for several months now and we’re told business is booming. Jankin’s and his team of technicians are always on the lookout for exceptional gay donors to add to their catalog.

The screening process involves proof of financial bracket, IQ tests, a psychological report, physical fitness statistics and of course, extensive AIDS and HIV screenings. They assure only the most extraordinary sperm will be available for the mothers-to-be.

While there are no guarantees that their child will be born gay, studies have shown that homosexuals are 75% more likely to produce similarly oriented offspring. Children can then be coaxed to adopt the gay lifestyle with several proven methods, giving the woman a 90% chance she will have a gay child.

Jane M. Agni (2014, April 18)
Originally Published On National Report

The following two tabs change content below.
Jane Agni

Jane Agni

Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report. Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more.
Jane Agni

Latest posts by Jane Agni (see all)