Category Archives: Bad Satire

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overcoming-social-anxiety-self-worth-digest-smDo you second guess every utterance which comes from your stupid, stupid mouth, while mercilessly beating yourself up for what you have contributed to the conversation. All while attempting to maintain a facade of calm, confident sanity until you are completely exhausted, and just want to crawl into a dark, quiet room, far removed from the outside world?

We all feel awkward during social interactions from time to time. There’s a constant, gnawing worry that we’ll say something stupid in front of our peers, or we’ll over-analyze the conversation until it feels less like an enjoyable exchange of ideas, and more akin to an intense, life-threatening game of chess.

Fortunately for many of us who experience these perpetual feelings of inadequacy Self-Worth Digest has compiled a list of five safe, healthy ways to endure situations that involve one or more persons.
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millennial-guide-to-self-help-self-worth-digest-sm01. Retail Therapy

Few things can satiate the throes of depression like splurging on material possessions that you don’t really need–but definitely want! If you’re lacking unfettered access to your parent’s bank account, look into getting a credit card of your own (they practically give these things away!) and MAX THAT SUCKER OUT!

Think of how exuberant you’ll feel while you blow thousands upon thousands of dollars that isn’t yours and you can’t afford! What medications and counseling can’t fix, certainly several pairs of designer shoes and an extra-large LED flat screen TV can!
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As any girlfriend worth her weight in salt should know: It’s a major drag when your beau isn’t showering you with the praise and affection you so rightfully deserve.

After all, he is the nucleus of your existence. Your every waking breath revolves around fulfilling his needs, wants and catering to each and every mico-expectation that arises. Why should his priorities be any different?
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A new study reveals teen pregnancy rates drop significantly after age 19.

The startling correlation was reported by millions of family planning centers nationwide after a 5 years study conducted by an exclusive research team led by Dr. Sandra McKinnon.

Dr. Sandra McKinnon reported the team’s findings during a recent US Reproductive Studies Symposium. “It is an undisputed fact that teen pregnancy rates are nearly non-existent when a woman reaches the age of 20. If you encourage your adolescents to abstain from sexual intercourse until they reach this age, the chances of them becoming teen parents are incredibly slim–Almost nonexistent.
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A new study out of Vermont’s Women’s Educational Ministry reveals the average women’s pubic hair is not only teeming with bacteria, but is also encrusted with an alarming amount of fecal material.

These findings surfaced after hundreds of pubic hair samples were taken from college attendees in the Vermont area. It was revealed that most women’s nether regions are host to a startling number of dangerous bacteria.
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