(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)
(Topeka, KA) – Carmen Johnson had a rather normal upbringing. She was born on September 4th, 1974, and adopted by Grace, and Gary Johnson in Topeka, Kansas shortly thereafter. The liberal couple soon learned that their son was indeed their daughter after she reached an age where she was able to express her preferred gender identity.
“We simply went with it. Although the name we had chosen for her as a baby was Carl, she quickly expressed interest in the name Carmen, and it just stuck. She’s been our Carmen ever since.” Carmen had a lot of support coming to terms with being transgender throughout her teenage years. “My family has been unbelievably supportive. I am very grateful to have been adopted by such an amazing, loving family. I know many trans-people are not so fortunate. I count my blessings every day.”
(Long Beach, California) – When Charlene Walker adopted her pug, Jazzy, from a local pug rescue, she was elated to be bringing home the newest addition to her family. However, almost immediately after they arrived home, Charlene began to notice that there was something peculiar about her cuddly canine friend.
“Whenever we took Jazzy to the dog park she would only play with male dogs whereas she always attempted to mount other female dogs. At home, she was very despondent. She seemed to be trying to communicate something, but I just couldn’t understand what it was.” That’s when Charlene chose to take Jazzy to Holistic Veterinary Solutions, in Long Beach, California.
Holistic Veterinary Solutions is known for being a state of the art veterinary practice, yet they have also gained a somewhat questionable reputation for administering unconventional medical treatments. Some of these services include acupuncture, massage, chakra cleansing and past-life healing for animals, along with several other scientifically unfounded therapeutic procedures.
(Duval, Florida) – A substitute teacher in Jacksonville, Florida has been suspended from her job this week after a student captured photographs of the educator wearing a phallic apparatus and pantomiming graphic, adult-oriented scenarios during class. Sharon Mercer is the 39-year-old substitute teacher who was hired to present a course in sexual education for a group of 6th grade students at Clinton Middle school. The School, which is located in Duval County, five minutes outside of Jacksonville, FL, is occupied by over 200 students, and teaches grades 5 to 9.
The disciplinary action occurred after several photographs of Ms. Mercer’s questionable demonstration was posted onto the popular image site, imgur. The pictures, taken with a student’s cell phone, clearly depict Mercer mimicking lewd gestures of questionable legal, ethical and educational value.
Mercer, who identifies as a bisexual, gender-queer woman, is a proud member of the LGBTQ community, claims she did nothing wrong by portraying these acts for her class, and that the students left school far more enlightened than they had been prior to the days lesson.
San Francisco has long been known as a haven for members of the LGBTQ community. The California city has an extensive and rich history of tolerance for homosexuals and their ilk. Unsurprisingly, one man intends to capitalize on this notion by opening the world’s very first “All Gay Sperm Bank”.
For those ladies who have lusted after their gay friends and hoped for a child imbued with their sense of style and taste, but have been unable to “bag the fag”, so-to-speak, now there’s a safe, effective and convenient alternative.
The Rainbow Stork Cryobank is the brain child of Gary F. Jankins, a San Fransisco native and openly gay individual. Mr Jankins is well known for his philanthropy and keen investments, fronting several lucrative business ventures; the sperm bank being the newest addition in a long list of successful projects.
During an interview he told National Report that his inspiration for the bank arose after several of his female friends has solicited him for sperm themselves.
Michael S. Williamson—Washington Post
The 84 year old founder of the notorious Westboro Baptist Church is barely clinging to life at a Midland hospice house in Topeka Kansas. The man who seemingly dedicated his entire life to tormenting homosexuals allegedly made a startling confession while at death’s door. He announced to a roomful of stunned family members that he was indeed, a homosexual.
These Two Children Were Paired As A Post-Op And Pre-Op Transsexual Couple
(St. Leonard, MD) – Parents in the town of St. Leonard, MD were aghast after learning what the staff at Heritage Middle School required children to do for a passing grade. The outrage stems from an event held this past Monday, a day which the school had dubbed “LGBTQ Appreciation Day” instructing children to experience the homosexual lifestyle for a single school day or receive a failing grade.
Students were assigned the different roles throughout LGBTQ culture. Boys were given the task of being masculine homosexuals, feminine homosexuals, cross dressers and a wide variety of other gay archetypes. The young ladies were selected to be lip stick lesbians, or butch lesbians.
The students were partnered with members of the same sex and they were then made to role-played a day in the life of a gay couple. Holding hands, hugging and other innocent displays of affection were both encouraged and rewarded as extra credit by school officials.