Category Archives: Jane Agni’s Greatest Hits

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Texas Ebola Outbreak

(Wortham, TX) – The unused wing of a retirement community in Wortham, Texas was transformed into a makeshift Ebola ward early this morning after 17 kindergarten students fell violently ill and tested positive for the Ebola virus. It is believed that the children were exposed to the deadly disease after sharing classrooms with a Liberian foreign exchange student. The girl had recently arrived in the states to spend a year with an American family after her own parents were displaced by war. She began vomiting excessively two week after her arrival and tested positive for Ebola shortly before the other children began displaying symptoms themselves.

Lindsay Belknap is a substitute teacher who was working with the children during the time in which they are believed to have became infected. She is currently under observation at an undisclosed local hospital. National Report was able to speak with Lindsay for a short phone interview where she had the following to say.
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sarita-texas-la-raza-invasion-gang-leader-interview-content-photoWe’re currently on the outskirts of Sarita, Texas, a small town that has been invaded by members of immigration activist group, “La Raza”. This is day three of the illegal occupation, and we have been posted up with the Oath Keepers since they arrived on the scene yesterday. The Oath Keepers have been extremely generous towards us throughout this entire ordeal, and have provided our crew with plenty of food to eat and alcohol to drink. A perimeter around the city has been created, and now we’re holding ground and awaiting response from the National Guard.
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illegal-immigrants-take-over-texas-town-featured

FEDs have issued a gag order to all major media outlets making it a criminal offense to report anything that pertains to the La Raza invasion in Sarita, Texas.

On Thursday night, close to 100 La Raza militants captured the small town of Sarita Texas, forcing its former residents out to the edge of town. La Raza has since claimed Sarita as their own, and are using the city’s resources to funnel more members into the country. The militants are reported to be heavily armed and extremely dangerous.
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hologram-kurt-cobain-nirvana-tourIn 2013, attendees of Cochella were blown away when a holographic image of Tupac Shakur walked onto the stage and began performing his hit song, Hail Mary. Since then, record execs have been mulling over which deceased artist they should resurrect next and it appears they’ve finally made their decision; The legendary grunge rocker, Kurt Cobain.

Yes, it has been confirmed that Kurt Cobain will once again take the stage alongside original Nirvana members, Dave Grohl, and, Krist Novoselic, for what is sure to be the biggest concert event of 2014.

Kurt Cobain is known for being one of the founding members of the 90’s grunge movement. Born in Aberdeen, Washington, he started the band which would go onto become Nirvana in 1987. The late songwriter passed away in 1994 due to a widely publicized and controversial suicide.
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In a recent nationwide survey conducted by the Oklahoma Symposium of Racial Studies, researchers claim to have pinpointed the individual US cities that are most plagued by racism. The list included locations such as Atlanta, GA, Phoenix, AZ and Chicago, IL. However, the city crowned most infected with the cancer of racial intolerance came as a shocker to many: The so-called “liberal” utopia of Portland OR.

Yes, it seems the City Of Roses came out at the top of the list for most racial tension, blowing all the other cities away with their tie-dyed, race-riot.

Researchers cite several instances in which the occupants engaged in activities which would make one think that underneath all the hipster attire lurks a horde of rabid klansmen in hippie’s clothing. From run-of-the-mill racism to even more abstract and subtle forms of prejudices that can only be found in the rainy, north western city, PDX seems to be absolutely brimming with bigotry.
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Fred-Phelps-Homosexual-Death-Bed-Confession

Michael S. Williamson—Washington Post

The 84 year old founder of the notorious Westboro Baptist Church is barely clinging to life at a Midland hospice house in Topeka Kansas. The man who seemingly dedicated his entire life to tormenting homosexuals allegedly made a startling confession while at death’s door. He announced to a roomful of stunned family members that he was indeed, a homosexual.
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