Category Archives: Jane Agni’s News Today

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A new study out of Vermont’s Women’s Educational Ministry reveals the average women’s pubic hair is not only teeming with bacteria, but is also encrusted with an alarming amount of fecal material.

These findings surfaced after hundreds of pubic hair samples were taken from college attendees in the Vermont area. It was revealed that most women’s nether regions are host to a startling number of dangerous bacteria.
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After pleading guilty to child pornography charges and paying to have sex with minors, disgraced Subway pitchman, Jared Fogle, is finally facing the music. A tune I imagine being quite sweet to Fogle’s ears, but deeply unsettling for the rest of the sane, and decent world.

Due to a modified plea agreement, Fogel will only have to serve 12 months in a minimum security prison, after which he will be on probation for 24 months. The only saving grace, perhaps, is Fogle will be required to register as a sex offender for the next 50 years.
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Airbus recently filed patents for several innovative new seating arrangements within the passenger cabins of their mass-transit air craft, but potential patrons are already wincing in disapproval.

The latest patent confounding social media users is referred to as the ‘Mezzanine’ model, depicting humans stacked atop one another ala Tetris. Among other things, the Mezzanine stands accused of being a cynical tactic on behalf of Airbus, a ham-handed ploy to cram more people into their flying metal bullets, thereby raising profits significantly.
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