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Taser(Sherwood, ND) – Hundreds of horrified and enraged parents stormed through the halls of Calcutta elementary school in Sherwood North Dakota demanding justice after two police officers burst into a classroom Friday morning and began tasing random children.

The officers, Hugh Roark and Darren Engen were detained shortly after the incident and remain in custody pending investigation, which senior officers describe as “heinous and unforgivable”.

Meanwhile, parents are left struggling to understand what would motivate the two “peace” officers to pull such a stunt. Officer Andrew Bergman who is working closely with investigators has reported during a press conference that the officers were apparently “bored” with the absence of crime in the tiny North Dakota town. They were also seeking somewhere to practice shooting their newly acquired tasers that the department had issued just a few weeks earlier. A handful of townsfolk had reported seeing the officers in a field along the highway shortly before the incident, firing their tasers at a herd of grazing cattle.
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(New York City, New York) – NYPD was recently spotted handing out flyers to Apple customers all throughout downtown New york City. The leaflets insisted that Mac users upgrade their iPhones to the new Apple iOS 7.

Law enforcement officials claim their efforts are to “help curb the theft and reuse of Apple iPhone devices.” After Apple’s recent dealings with the NSA were brought to light it’s been widely speculated that the Apple iOS 7 upgrade’s sole purpose is to make the system more compatible for the NSA’s acquisition of Apple customer’s personal data.

It’s poetic that a city dubbed “The Big Apple” would be ground zero for Apple’s breakthrough in surveying American citizens. NYC has become hyper-vigilant against potential terrorist attacks since the unfortunate 9/11 bombings. A “relaxed” police state has been implemented in order to secure our freedom and personal safety.
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Apple iPhone 5S(Home Office) – Tech-heads are eager to get their hands on the new Apple iPhone 5S next month and evidently Apple feels the same. This is due to the fact that their latest model comes equipped with fingerprint recognition technology as an added security feature.

Privacy has become a major concern in today’s technologically dominated society. Individuals keeping up with all the latest gadgets also run the risk of becoming exposed to unresolved bugs that could leave the user open to breaches in their personal security.

Apple’s official spokespeople have maintained a vague stance on the potential of sharing their fingerprint database with the NSA. Fortunately, after hours of phone calls I was finally able to speak with an employee that could answer some of my questions.
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(Coos County, NH) – Coos County, New Hampshire troopers have begun to employ stricter procedures in an effort to eliminate drunk driving.

Major heat was applied on Coos County by New Hampshire state representatives after recently published statistics broadcast the state’s crippling struggle with alcohol related vehicular crimes loud and clear. In the report released by the NIAAA,   New Hampshire ranked number 1 on the list to much displeasure from community officials.

“Unacceptable” said Council Member Barry Sotos after seeing his state shamed in the NIAAA’s study. “We’ve always had a problem with Coos County being drunkards. Not the rest of us. If you were from New Hampshire you would understand. We know where to place the blame… We can’t allow one part of our state mar our entire national image…”
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The two police officers involved in the shooting of John Crawford III inside a Breavercreek, OH, Wal-Mart have been acquitted on charges by a grand jury on Wednesday. However, they may not be completely out of the water just yet. President Obama, deeming the Grand Jury’s response to the obvious abuse of police power inadequate, has filed federal charges against the officers involved.

New footage has been released of the surveillance video showing the officers gunning down the 22-year-old after he had placed the toy gun onto the ground.
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A victims advocacy group in Missouri is currently petitioning for stiffer laws against child predators as well as promoting some unusual measures when it comes to how their department of corrections will handle violent incarcerated sex offenders in the future. The small grassroots campaign, referring to themselves as the “Eye For An Eye Society” is made up primarily of survivors of violent and predatory sex offenders.

Sheila Bramwell is the current coordinator, and she describes the goals of the organization thusly, “We believe that stiffer penalties for abusers are long overdue. The punishment should fit the crime. Anyone guilty of these horrible offenses should face not just a lifetime in solitary confinement, but mandatory surgical castration as well as very uncomfortable prison settings, devoid of all the comforts provided to regular prisoners.”

“No television, no books, no letters, no visits. Basically just a bare cell. Their sentences should be agonizing and should reflect a condensed version of what their victims must face on an everyday basis. Generally most offenders just fritter away their days passing time, generally not really giving much thought to the crimes they have committed until they are free to once more do it again. Our methods ensure that these monsters will spend every waking moment acutely aware of the atrocities they committed while suffering tangible consequences.”
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