On Monday the Bishop Of Rome addressed Catholic followers regarding the dire importance of exhibiting religious tolerance. During his hour-long speech, a smiling Pope Francis was quoted telling the Vatican’s guests that the Koran, and the spiritual teachings contained therein, are just as valid as the Holy Bible.
“Jesus Christ, Jehovah, Allah. These are all names employed to describe an entity that is distinctly the same across the world. For centuries, blood has been needlessly shed because of the desire to segregate our faiths. This, however, should be the very concept which unites us as people, as nations, and as a world bound by faith. Together, we can bring about an unprecedented age of peace, all we need to achieve such a state is respect each others beliefs, for we are all children of God regardless of the name we choose to address him by. We can accomplish miraculous things in the world by merging our faiths, and the time for such a movement is now. No longer shall we slaughter our neighbors over differences in reference to their God.”
Today, America lost another one of its great entertainers. Still fresh in our memory is the tragic passing of Robin Williams, and now, mere weeks later, we are mourning the loss of another comedic legend. Joan Rivers passed away on Thursday, September 4th, in a Manhattan hospital bed surrounded by friends and family.
Never one to let a scare-tactic go to waste, a Twitter page alleging to operated by key ISIS members claimed responsibility for the passing of Rivers only hours after the announcement of her death.
This unusual clash began after Rivers made disparaging comments about the current state of affairs in Gaza. Rivers appeared to have zero sympathy for the plight of the Palestinian people, and was quoted saying the following, “Good. Good. When you declare war, you declare war. They started it. We now don’t count who’s dead. You’re dead, you deserve to be dead. Don’t you dare make me feel bad about that.”
Richard Drew/Associated Press
New information has been released about the two white flags that replaced Old Glory atop the Brooklyn Bridge Tuesday morning. According to the testimony of a firefighter who assisted NYC police officers in reaching the rooftops where the flags were located, this is no mere act of vandalism, but a grim statement made by radical Islamist which hints at future terrorist attacks.
Sheldon Wayne Thomas is a New York firefighter stationed in Brooklyn’s 68th precinct. He accompanied officers Tuesday because of his experience as a climber, helping them traverse the cables to reach the flagpoles 277 feet above the ground.
“What NYPD Commissioner William Bratton failed to mention during the recent press conference–and what I believe the American people deserve to know–is that evidence found at the scene point to Islamic involvement.”
Faculty members at the Lawrence Heights Elementary School located near Marlborough Village, MO are in hot water after one of their substitute teachers allegedly informed all of the students in his 4th grade classroom that “Santa Claus isn’t real” during a recent history lesson.
Jeremy Townsen (pictured left) is the 29-year-old self-proclaimed atheist currently at the center of this holiday controversy. According to complaints filed by several parents, Mr. Townsen went on an extensive anti-religious tirade before cruelly dashing the children’s visions of sugarplums upon the hard slate of reality.
Students were understandably shaken after the incident and many went on to tell their parents about what had occurred. After an influx of angry calls to the school, superintendent Gerald Myers held a meeting on Monday to decide what would be done with Mr. Townsen. He released the following statement.
“Naturally we have several parents who are very distraught over what occurred and we are addressing the problem as quickly and efficiently as we can. We will have on site trauma counselors to talk with the children and resolve the PTSD they may be experiencing as the result of Mr. Townsen’s careless declarations. We understand that Mr Townsen had no business imposing his personal beliefs onto these children and we are working hard to create solutions in the wake of this dilemma.”
Chippie’s New Press Release Shows Him Arm In Arm With Jesus Christ
Due to recent controversy over Chippie The RFID’s nationwide school tour, Chippie and his legal representatives held a press conference to clear the air in regards to a number of distasteful allegations that have recently been thrown at the popular RFID mascot.
Chippie is currently halfway into a tour which has seem some heated opposition in certain states. On the 11th of November, upon arriving to their scheduled appearance at Tartarus Middle School in Olympian Village, MO, Chippie and company were faced with throngs of enraged and confrontational protesters surrounding the school.
Despite the presence of such hostile resistance, everyone managed to make it into the school to carry on with the much anticipated presentation.
The Offending Snopes Article Calling The Existence Of Jesus Christ A “Myth”
(Snopes.com) – The website Snopes recently derived sharp criticism from members of the Christian faith after publishing an article that declared the life and death of Jesus Christ as little more than an ancient bamboozle.
For the last 18 years Snopes has been documenting hoaxes, scams, chain letters and urban legends for the perusal enjoyment of web surfers. Created in 1995 by the husband and wife team of David and Barbara Mikkelson, the website has since expanded to become one of the most comprehensive and respected archives of human chicanery to date.
Along with their ever-growing database of cons, so too has their readership flourished, currently averaging roughly 300k unique visitors per day. The majority of these individuals herald the site as an infallible fountainhead of wisdom and truth.