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hollywood-hiv-epidemic-patient-zero-sm

Tinseltown is brimming with dread and sorrow after discovering a popular A-list celebrity could be responsible for infecting up to half of Hollywood’s acting talent with HIV.

The anonymous a-lister is being called “Hollywood’s Patient Zero”, and they’re accused of starting an epidemic which has swept through the upper echelons of our most beloved actors and actresses.
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After pleading guilty to child pornography charges and paying to have sex with minors, disgraced Subway pitchman, Jared Fogle, is finally facing the music. A tune I imagine being quite sweet to Fogle’s ears, but deeply unsettling for the rest of the sane, and decent world.

Due to a modified plea agreement, Fogel will only have to serve 12 months in a minimum security prison, after which he will be on probation for 24 months. The only saving grace, perhaps, is Fogle will be required to register as a sex offender for the next 50 years.
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It’s certainly no secret that the American government and certain private interest groups has long been infusing the pop culture we enjoy with subliminal messages. Documents dating back to the 50’s have shown instances where individuals were experimented upon in movie theaters using cerebral triggers. It’s also been stated by well respected neurologists that certain methods of hypnotic suggestion can be hugely successful in “implanting” thoughts where they would have not otherwise been. Even more recently, we’ve witnessed block buster films accused of triggering fatal, real world results in its unsuspecting viewers.
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CHARLES-MANSON-FOUND-DEAD

Charles Manson was found unresponsive in his cell by deputies at the Corcoran State Prison in California. He was pronounced dead at 2:00 AM Friday morning after medics worked to revive the prisoner to no avail. The cause of death is currently unknown and impending autopsy results.
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City officials have announced new measures in an effort to curb the violence sweeping Baltimore since the funeral of Freddie Gray. Any individuals caught rioting, looting, destroying property or otherwise reacting in a violent and unlawful manner will have their government benefits permanently revoked.

This punishment also applies to minors who might be participating in the ongoing melee. Parents of underage individuals who are captured while engaging in criminal activities related to the rioting will be held fully accountable, and could risk losing state benefits, as well as the custody of their child.
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Several groups of teenagers in and around Ferguson have recently been reporting encounters with Mike Brown’s ghost near the area where he was gunned down by police.

Shantel Harrison and four of her friends were walking home towards the Canfield Green Apartments on the evening of March 1st when they bore witness to an eerie spectacle. What they saw appeared to be a body lying in the middle of the street where Brown had been shot dead. “We all saw it and we just froze. It was like we couldn’t move, it was so quiet. There was this electric smell and he got up and walked toward us all slow with his hands held out. He said something I couldn’t understand, and that’s when we booked it.”, said Ms. Harrison. “We all ran back to my mother’s apartment and told my uncle who was there. No one believes us. I am afraid to walk at night now.”
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