Jane, I’m currently dealing with a seriously urgent issue and I believe you’re the only individual with the perspective to lift me from my dilemma. After reading your heartwarming response to the mother who wanted her 3 year old son become transgender, I was moved beyond words by the compassion you displayed.
First, a little backstory on my situation. I was born to two white parents who were extremely abusive towards me throughout my entire childhood. Verbal, physical, sexual, you name it… I do not identify as Caucasian, although genetically, I am considered to be white. I have always resonated towards African American culture and have associated the white race with the pain, and oppression which dominated my upbringing. I feel a kinship among my dusky brethren as we share a common abuser. Caucasians are culturally a vicious and exploitative race, and I want no part of it.
I gave birth to a white daughter 13 years ago after being raped and impregnated by one of the boys I attended high school with. He took my virginity, and 9 months later, I was a mother. I do not agree with abortion so I had the child. She’s a beautiful girl, and thankfully very, very tan. She’s beginning to go through puberty, and has started noticing boys. My concern is that she does not seem to find African American boys attractive. I don’t want her first romantic experience with a man to be one of abuse and manipulation at the hands of some pasty white boy with delusions of grandeur.
I would hate for her to experience the pain I felt as a teenager. That’s why I want her to date nice black boys, or even a Hispanic. I want to be the grandmother to many precious little mixed race babies, not a herd of wicked miniature Hitlers.
What can I do to convince my daughter that dating outside of her race is the only way to truly be happy?
Thanks, Jane! You’re the best!
Dallas, thanks for writing in. You are certainly well within your right as a parent to want an interracial relationship for your daughter. Being romantically involved with a member of another race has definite perks in today’s society.
The first and most obvious step towards igniting your daughter’s jungle fever is to speak candidly with her about the pro’s of interracial dating. Let her know why you feel the way that you do. Explain how it will benefit her present situation, as well as her future. Share examples of why an African American or Hispanic man can offer her a more fulfilling relationship when the time comes to find a mate.
Also, be honest about your concerns when she shows potential interest in white boys. Let her know that no matter how kind and affable they seem, Caucasians are basically savage abusers in sheep’s clothing. Show her pictures of the ugliest white babies in contrast with the sweet cherubic innocence of mixed race children.
Expose her to media that is afrocentric. Show her movies that will enlighten, and culturally enrich your daughter such as Roots, X, Friday, Django Unchained, Shaft, and the recent cinematic celebration of African American culture, Straight Outta Compton. This will allow you to demonstrate to her that all strife experienced in these movies, and in reality, are a direct result of the abuse perpetrated by the white race.
Consider enrolling her in a school where black students outnumber white. Listen to the velvety smooth sounds of R. Kelly when she’s studying, or while you’re cleaning the house. Consider attending a black church, or eat at Popeye’s on Sunday. Moving to Atlanta, GA, will also ensure constant exposure to African American culture. Shop at black owned businesses. Attend Black lives matter protests.
The fewer white people your daughter sees the less likely she be to become attracted to one and pursue a relationship. Here’s to hoping that your diligence and efforts aren’t purely in vain.
© Jane M. Agni (2015, October 30)
Originally Published On Every Woman Weekly