Oregon Town Using Fetal Tissue To Power Small Community

Home / Oregon Town Using Fetal Tissue To Power Small Community

brooks-oregon-fetus-powered-town(Brooks, Oregon) – Marion County commissioners recently approved a new “green” incinerator which generates electricity by burning tissue from aborted fetuses. “We have let this valuable resource go to waste for far too long”, explained executive commissioner, Cheryl Briggs. “Multiple clinics in several counties have supplied us with their fetal refuse. It has been enough to generate a consistent source of clean energy for over a month now. If our estimations are correct, we will eventually be able to power the entire town using this method.”

Some weren’t so enthusiastic in regards to the county’s new fetus-powered generators. Brooks, OR resident, Helen Maples, was horrified when we informed her of the project. “I’m extremely uncomfortable with the fact that whenever I flick a light switch or operate an appliance, it’s going to be due to the fact that they are shoveling dead babies into a furnace. That is just wrong and I feel incredibly sick about it.”

Others didn’t seem to mind in the least that their humble little town was harvesting power from unborn fetal remains. “I think this is fantastic!”, quipped longtime Brooks resident, Gina DeRossi. “It helps solve multiple problems, when you really think about it. We are curbing overpopulation and we are putting all of this refuse to good use. I believe it keeps those babies from having died in vain. They aren’t sitting in some landfill somewhere, rotting and forgotten. They are remembered and celebrated every time we a device that requires electricity. It’s almost as if we are celebrating their little lives every day in a million different ways! It’s not morbid or wrong. I believe in a woman’s right to choose and if we can remember the babies this way, then so be it.”

Several other surrounding communities have begun negotiations to install their own “green fetal furnaces” which may pose some challenges for Brooks County. Dale Lyons, who is the director of the current program had this to say, “There may be a shortage of fetal tissue to go around if other cities end up adopting this technique. The solution to that will be to outsource tissue from surrounding states and counties so there is never a shortage. I mean, let’s face it. Abortion is never going to disappear. It’s important that we utilize this resource to the fullest extent.”

Jane M. Agni (2014, May 1)
Originally Published On National Report

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Jane Agni

Jane Agni

Jane M. Agni is a professional journalist residing in the rain-soaked city of Portland, Oregon. She is currently Editor-In-Chief of the websites, Every Woman Weekly, and Self-Worth Digest, in addition to being Senior Journalist for the infamous news satire site, National Report. Follow Jane on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus for daily updates on new articles and more.
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